why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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