I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
