Are we in a gay sports bar?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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