You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
