I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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