I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
