and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
