awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
