I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
