Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
