im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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