I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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