How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
