it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
not ubering you a puppy
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
