Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize