Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
