Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
did i just pee glitter
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
