last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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