its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
