then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
