part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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