I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
