My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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