i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
please come you make the beer taste better
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
