I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I see more hoeing in ur future
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
