I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
