woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
