Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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