i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
