I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
