Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
