omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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