I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
