In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
