so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
