Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
