There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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