Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think your dad took our porno
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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