i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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