i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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