woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
