he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
