haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
