Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
a search helicopter?!
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
