My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
