somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
accomplished twins. life is a go
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
