So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
