wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
please come you make the beer taste better
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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