His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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