no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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