Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Rumble strips road head = magical
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
